The Mating Game

♫ Dance with me across the ocean floor Sail away to heaven's open door Step right up you're the next contestant In this sweet charade Take a number, wait while I twist your fate

On the mating game Mating game

Hold me close enough to drink my rose The devil in my pocket turned to gold Sorry to warn you, you're in a daze Tonight I'll love you, but tomorrow go away

Step right up who's the next contestant In this sweet charade? Take a number, wait while I tease you sane

On the mating game Mating game♫

DATING SCHOOL

This is quite an interesting subject and what better song to open the note with than Bittersweet's "The Mating Game". As my few readers and friends know, I am in "dating school" right now. Crash course. I have learned so much and continue perfecting "my game" as I go. Some of you may say "Be honest, don't play games". To those of you I say: It doesn't work. I've tried it. But don't feel bad. Everything in life is like a game of poker. You don't know what hand you are going to be dealt. But you can make the most of it and sometimes you need to bluff. Trust me on this one :)

I know I haven't updated you on my whereabouts in a while. Let's just say my social life is soaring and work is great. I haven't had the chance to do much outside of that.

THE GAME

I have discovered there is a lack of such thing from men in Tampa. At least I am hoping it is symptomatic of the city and not a worldwide spread disease. I may not know much about dating per se, but I can tell Prada from Prado. I know a fake when I see it, I can tell quality from garbage. It doesn't hurt my gang helps me through it all. Their input is of great value when in doubt.

MEN IN TAMPA

They stare and stare. They try to not get caught staring, but they obviously do not succeed. The ones who dare to come over and talk to me, just say the same old lame lines: "Do you come here a lot? Are you a model? I am not trying to hit on you, but... (compliment follows), Your boyfriend doesn't mind that you are out by yourself? (or some boyfriend related question), I know you from somewhere (really? Your dreams maybe?)".

HOW TO MEET GIRLS THE RIGHT WAY

Men, pay attention to my following statements. I know, it is hard to concentrate and read on, but you'll have a better chance at scoring if you keep on reading.

DO NOT get intimidated. What's the worse that can happen? "No, I am not interested"? No one dies from that. You never know. You may hit it off, but you'll never know, because you never tried. Even if there is a group of girls and you see one you like out of the bunch. Or in occasion I've been the third wheel. Observe and pay attention to which one is with the guy and which one isn't. If the third wheel caught your eye, go for it.

DO NOT use a line. Women hate lines. At the very least, avoid using one of those cheesy lines we all know. I have NEVER heard a woman say "I loved his pickup line". We all make fun of you when we get together and compare ridiculousness. Be natural. Be yourself (unless yourself is a douche. In which case, take a hike). Walk up to the girl, introduce yourself, ask for her name (and remember it). If you are too nervous about messing it up, you could break the ice by making a comment about the place you guys are at. If it's a restaurant that specializes in sushi you could say something like "Are you a fan of sushi?". She will reply saying "I love it", then you can ask which one is her favourite roll. Ask what other kinds of foods she likes. If she says no. You could ask what she prefers from that restaurant. She says nothing. Ask what her fave restaurants are. If she says she has never eaten there. You can proceed to make suggestions of what's awesome in their menu. Either way, you have material to go with and this info will be useful if you get her number. Because at that point, you'll know where to take her for dinner if you do get a date. So, please, try to retain what she responds. See? Not that hard to not sound like an STD (South Tampa Douche as Kimberly calls them).

DO NOT ask for my number right off the bat. You just gave me your name and you expect me to hand you my number just like that? Unless your name is Brad Pitt, I don't see why I'd give you my number without knowing if I even like you first. I have yet to make a full assessment. At the exchanging names portion of the program, I only know if you're cute and if you have style. Which by the way, the lack of those alone can get you dismissed. If you pass that part, I will talk to you. Always offer a drink. That shows that you are attentive. Especially if we are going to be talking for a while. If I say no. Let a reasonable time into conversation go by before offering again.

DO NOT get hammered. We met out, so I understand you've been drinking. But at this point slow down. I don't appreciate a belligerent drunk. If you keep drinking like there is no tomorrow, I will walk away. The next statement should be obvious, but, DO NOT get drunk when out on a date. Get buzzed, sure. Not drunk. And being hammered is definitely out of the question.

YOUR BOYFRIEND comments are for pussies. I am sorry but if you want to know if I am single, ask straight up. I like a bold, assertive man, not a hesitant one. Do not disguise your question. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if I am available. When men ask a boyfriend related question, I give an ambiguous answer, I lead on that I have a man or I call you out for asking me that way. In any of those scenarios, you lost me. You are not getting my number.

COMPLIMENTS are like plastic surgery. A bit here and there is great. Unfortunately, there is such thing as too much of it. If you over shower her with compliments, then you are trying too hard and that's called kissing ass. It may work with some, it doesn't work with me. I am not saying I don't enjoy flattery, of course I do. I am a girl, I like to be reminded that I am sexy, cute, great eyes, whatever. But DON'T OVER DO IT. Flattery is like music. There is a rhythm to follow, there are pauses, there are perfect moments for everything. Right off the bat, you can compliment her style or a certain part of her outfit only if YOU TRULY think is good. But of course, if you are being honest and you really like her eyes, you can say it. When you over do it, it is nothing but falseness. That's what I mind.

LET'S SAY that at this point we've spent all evening talking, laughing, getting to know each other. This means I enjoyed your company. Otherwise I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago. There are people whose company I enjoyed, but did not see them as possible prospects, so I say goodbye at one point of the evening. Let's say the place is closing now. Offer to walk me to my car. If I say ok. My friend, you are getting my number. When we get to my car, that's the moment to ask for my number. This is what you say (and mean it) "I enjoyed your company tonight. I'd like see you again and take you out on a date. What's your number?" You are being assertive, confident and establishing you want me. I like that.

DO FOLLOW UP asap. Do not waste time. You want to gain territory. Good ground where to stand and score points left and right. As soon as you get home (or before even), send a polite text. Saying something like you had a good time and how you're looking forward to that date. That's a cliche that does work. If you are into the girl and genuinely had a good time and clicked, the texts should get rolling effortlessly from both ends. As this goes on, you both will get to know each other more.

GET TO BUSINESS. Text her as soon as you're awake. That shows you really like her. That should move you up on her list if she likes you. Start thinking about the info you gathered about her likes. I love it when he plans the whole date and surprises me. It shows many good qualities. For starters, you cared to gather the info. You listened and retained it. You know the moves, because now you are going to plan a bulletproof date. How do you know? Well, you got all the info right from the source. I can assure you she'll be impressed and in your pocket. The night prior, you gathered if she's low or high key. You gathered what kind of food and restaurants she prefers. Which ones she has visited, which ones she's dying to try. You found out what she does for fun, for work, etc. She'll tell you if she's into art, sports, movies, etc. All of that can be used in your favour.

SEAL THE DEAL that very next day and get that date. This is how an alpha male would do it "Can I pick you up (day) at (time)?" You are choosing the day and time, but being considered by still asking if she's ok with your suggestion. Some restaurants require you to make reservations. Some need 24, 48 or even 72 hours in advance. If you're considering one of these places, keep that in mind. If she says that the day you suggested works, go ahead and make the reservations and then tell her "Ok, I've already made reservations". Explain that they needed an X amount of hours in advance. That way she'll know why you're not trying to see her sooner. Don't tell her where you are taking her (unless she hates surprises, which you should know by now), but do help by saying something like "Dress up" or "Dress casual". That way she'll know what to wear.

POINT SCORING SUGGESTION Let's say the reservations are 3 days from now, but you'd like to see/impress her sooner. Plan a low key outing. You should have gathered a lot of useful information when you met her. Let's say you didn't. You can still do it. For the artsy girl you could plan a visit to the Dali museum (or any other museum) a gallery or multiple galleries. For the sporty girl, you could take her to a baseball game, play tennis, indoor rock climbing, etc. You could go to the movies. All of those laid back dates score points (if you have already established that you'll take her out on a real date. Otherwise you'll appear to be cheap and no one likes that) for many reasons. You're taking her to do something she enjoys. You are showing your interest by taking her out before the big date. There are tons of fun low key things to do that score points with girls.

IF YOU DON'T NEED RESERVATIONS the sooner the better. Set that date. If not, you'll lose your momentum and she'll get bored and move on.

SOMETHING TO KNOW ABOUT ALPHA FEMALES is that they attract a lot of men and you are sure to have competition. If you don't like competition, then don't seek alpha females. There are plenty of beta females out there. With an alpha you are sure to be in for a treat. Once you win her over, you'll have all of her, no withholding and it'll be totally worth it. They can hand you crumbs if they are not into you and you will never know what's like to enjoy the whole jar of honey. So, don't play hard to get, because you are the one who has to get her. I repeat, there are a lot of men after her. If you don't play your cards right, you'll lose your chance and that's why you've got to show her you want her and that you're interested in a SMART WAY. She knows what she wants. Do not blow your chance.

Good luck!