Sex 101

It has taken me many years to be this open about sex. At least this open about discussing it. Kimberly* tells me I've got to catch up my actions to my mouth. She is completely right once more. My outlook on sex is very conservative. This must come as a shock to many, but why pretend I am freaky and a porn star in bed when I am not. I'd catalog myself average, maybe even boring. Especially if you're in fact freaky. I am all talk and no action as they say. Well, I became single recently and this time I said I'd try stuff. Keep on reading to find out.

My First Love

We met in June 2002. I was 20, Danny* was 21. Both inexperienced, both taken over by this strong feeling we had never felt before. We got serious pretty quickly. It was like a drug I couldn't get enough of. I would have done anything for that man, in fact I did. I left my country, I dropped my career, I just wanted to be with him. His tender touch, the sound of his voice, looking into those beautiful green eyes was everything I needed. I could not explain why I felt so fulfilled around him. We could have both been sitting on a side walk with just one blanket and as long as he held my hand, I couldn't have cared less about anything else.

Sex was an adventure. I had many firsts with him. It is funny to me looking back and realize how timid I was. I remember the first time he went down on me. My eyes bulged out, I couldn't believe his mouth was down there. I was trying to pretend I knew what the hell was going on, so I tried not to freak out about it. Months later, he told me it had been evident all along I had no idea of what I was doing. Ouch! I thought I had him fooled, lol.
Though in the beginning everything seemed wild to me due to my lack of experience, I know now that not only it wasn't wild, he wasn't much of an adventurous person in bed period. Neither was I, but had I been with a more experienced man, things would be different for me now. Regrets? None at all.

The Mandatory Rebound

It might've lasted too long for it to be a rebound. I am not even sure that it was a rebound. This love affair lasted 2 years. That man took me over by storm and unexpectedly almost soon after I ended my six plus year relationship with Danny. Whenever I say my type is "Sweet, caring, attentive..." men tell me "All women say that, but in reality they want a rich asshole". In my case my girls can tell you I am not bullshitting you. It is truly my type. It is so, that they actually tell me I need to wake up and get my priorities straight. This sweet man aka my type, could be a cute 6'2" white male just as well as a 5'5" dark Mexican. This dark Mexican better known as Pablo*, who all my friends thought I was crazy to be with is the most memorable man in my life. He treated me like a princess. A princess without castle that is. He did spoil me occasionally and always tried to do things, take me out, take me shopping, even if we had a small budget to do it with. To me that meant a lot. He was giving me everything he had, even if it wasn't a lot. But you see, I had never cared for that kind of thing. I did have to work my ass off to treat myself to my sometimes rather expensive taste in perfumes, shoes, fine dining and toys (by toys I mean my car, tv, playstation and that sort of thing). But with our limitations, I was happy with that man.

I have always wanted to better up my life, but I think my love life derailed me from my goal. I was dormant that whole time and let my youth slip away without acquiring life or social experiences nor achieving personal success or growth of any sort but being in love. It was a matter of time before my ambition awoke once again to tell me "Karla, move on. Do stuff!". I spent the last months of that relationship being uneasy, unhappy for some unknown reason. Until it dawned on me not only I didn't love him anymore, I needed to do something for myself or else I'd be miserable. And my sex life wasn't the exception. I needed more of everything as well.

The Quest Begins

I decided I wanted to try almost everything on the menu. I say almost, because certain things I am definitely not ready for. I told myself I'd do things the opposite to what I'd normally do. Starting with dating out of type. I also wouldn't shut the door on everyone's faces and be so damn picky (Hold that thought! Let me explain).

1) I'd at least give them the chance to speak and make a case. If their argument sucked, then of course, see ya!

2) I'd be more sexually receptive instead of being so closed minded.

3) If the chance presented itself and I liked a man, I wouldn't wait for him to make the first move as usual. I'd actually go for the kill.

So far, I have accomplished that small list. Umm, that's not the only list FYI.

First Item On The List

Otherwise known as Charlie*. I could write pages and pages about him. Such a unique character both good and bad. He is a specimen that needs to be studied. I am not kidding. He was exactly what I needed for my first learning experience. Out of type? You can say that again. He is so not my type in more than one way.

After what I just had gone through one thing was extremely clear I DIDN'T WANT A BOYFRIEND, uh huh. This was me time. This is how our story started:

I had gone without sex for nearly 3 months. To make matters worse, for some "lovely" reason I was at peaking levels of lustfulness like I had never experienced before. One day while in the pool, both my friends couple dujour Eliza* and Egor* were lost in a super hot make out session in front of me! I told them it wasn't nice to have steak in front of the poor. So I asked Egor if he had a friend he could introduce me to. My request? Reliable sex. That's all I asked for. I do realize now I should have been more broad, a bit more requirements wouldn't have been a bad idea. Somehow it worked out. Towards the evening I got a text message. It was Mr. Reliable Sex. Yes, it was Charlie with quite an entrance. Normal people say hello, introduce themselves. Oh no, Charlie isn't a normal person. He sent me a naked photo of himself in front of the mirror. He had the decency to cover up his penis, but everything else was visible. Full frontal. Once again, my eyes bulged out just like the first time I got head. Prude Karla was in process of leaving, but she hadn't left yet. I made such a fuss and both Eliza and Egor who were still with me were like "What?! What's going on?". When I showed Eliza the message she goes "Oh yeah Karla, that's so you! You need that." Egor saw it and started laughing so hard. I hear my phone beep again. I was like "Now what, the missing part?". I looked and it was another photo... now dressed =/ I can't even remember what he said after that, but I was in shock for a bit. When I finally decided to answer I played dumb and made no reference to the photos. We texted for the rest of the evening. Charlie actually sounded nice and smart. Two very important things to me. I was still very doubtful if I should get together with him or not. In the end, who the hell sends naked photos before anything else?

Many things have happened between Charlie and I since. The photo incident was mid June. We both were texting just a few hours ago and as his bff said to me last week "This won't be the end of you two".

Now I have a few questions for you out there.

Conservative, prude, kinky, dirty. What's best?

Should one commit that early in life and stop growing sexually?

Is there such thing as sexual growth?

Can/should ambition or hunger for success break a relationship?

How important is it to be sexually experienced? And how much experience is enough?

Is it ok to send naked photos as your introduction to strangers? Lol. I am just being silly now ;)
*Names have been changed.