No matter your age, hair and/or eye colour, you can rock this fall look. The first ingredient you need is guts my friend, don't worry about the rest. I will tell you what you need to know ;)
DO NOT be
judgmental and afraid. Swatching the colour might be "scary" if you are
conservative or have never tried statement lipsticks, however, there is
more than one way to dance a song and I will tell you how.
Dark rich shades are very glamorous, they make a statement while evoking a vintage look. There is a shade for every skin tone out there, your job is to stop being apprehensive, just try it; dare to be different, you won't regret it! :)
Keep in mind, I am only giving you guidelines to get started with, once
you feel comfortable, you can venture out on your own. This is just a
starting point, let your creativity be the one leading the way.
Let's find the right shade for you...
Fair Skin
You need to find shades with purple or blue undertones.
Medium Skin
You need to find a shade with brown undertones. Warmer shades play up tanned skin nicely.
Dark Skin
Shades with pure red undertones look stunning against dark skin.
Note: If your eye isn't that trained at detecting undertones, ask the sales associate to help you out.
Prepping...
Exfoliate Your Lips
You can use a dab of your body scrub, unless you are too sensitive, then get a lip scrub at your favourite cosmetics store/counter. You can also make a scrub at home.
Something to know about rich colours... To last or not to last?
The creamier the colour, the less it will last. The drier, the longer it will last. Those rich colours you've seen that have a "stain" effect is because they are dry, that's the mere quality that makes them last longer. Keeping this in mind, it is your choice what you want to do. If you want the colour to not "stain" and be easily removed, put on chapstick prior to applying a dry colour. That will reduce greatly the staying power. On the opposite hand, blot lips prior to application if you want the colour to last longer, so you can remove any undesired oils.
... Gotcha! I am here to talk to you about Jesus actually. Nah, totally pulling your leg. We are going to talk about sex. I promise I am serious this time. We are going to talk about what it's like when women get horny. Ah, that sounds so raw. Let's pretty it up a bit: Women's sexuality ;) This should be fun.
My Experience
This part is a bit hard to put into words. I hope not to get you all confused. My younger years are very fuzzy. Probably due to the lack of my brain's sexual activity. It's not that I didn't have any sex, it's just that not much sex was going through my head. It was RARE for
me to want it. Yes, RARE in capital letters. It was more of a "make me
want it" kind of thing for me. I never thought about it. I rarely desired it on my own. I never fantasized. That's sad, but I never
did. It wasn't until my late 20s that I started building my very own sex soap operas
in my head. Well, it was more like my own porn film and I was the porn star ;)
It was a time of firsts: It was the first time I wanted it though I was
completely unprovoked. No, I didn't want it, I NEEDED it. The first time I
fantasized. The first time I saw porn in a sexual manner. The first time masturbation was a regular thing for me. I was ashamed about some of those things. I never told anyone what I was going through. It was my dirty secret. My
libido was off the charts in an inexplicable manner. I did not know why this was happening to me or how
to deal with it. This sexual awareness was so foreign to me. It was as if I had bitten the apple and now I could see clearly.
Back in my early years, I used to not
even notice guys. My inadvertent asexual mind did not differentiate guys from a
piece of furniture. What I mean by it is, they were not sexual objects to me in the slightest. The rare occasions Susana* and I came in contact with male
models and/or cuties of the upper class were the only times I noticed men. They
were very good looking, I would have needed to be blind not to notice
those men. While I did appreciate the eye candy, I didn't think about bedding them. I kick myself for
that now. Such precious opportunities gone to waste. I would end up dating someone, only after creating an emotional bond. It was always out of familiarity, someone close. Otherwise, I used to remain
celibate for long periods of time and completely fine without having sex.
The First "Heat Wave"
It hit me for the first time at 26.
To say that it took me by surprise is an under statement. All of a sudden, I
actually noticed all men O_O I was shocked. I realized I was subconsciously
looking for a bed partner. My body and mind were in tune and they had only one
goal: To get me laid. I was literally in heat. First came frustration, which
led to anger. Why? I was married at the time and my husband well, just wasn't
interested.
I remember those sleepless nights feeling a tickle in
my Australia; tossing in bed. That's when I started fantasizing. As days went
by, the fantasy became more elaborate. I then looked for porn. I found one
video that was effective for me. I found some photos that hit the spot as well. I was mortified about this. I was confused about my own behavior. I wanted to know what was happening, but I couldn't ask anyone without admitting to what I had done up to that point. It was then I confided in Deborah*. She helped me a great deal. It was until then that I understood what porn was
all about. My toys benefited from this also. They finally got a regular use.
At one point, toys and porn were not cutting it. Though my orgasm is more intense with
a toy, I wanted flesh. Nothing kept my mind
off of sex and off of looking if someone looked the part. Not that it mattered,
marriage aside, I realized that pretty much every single one around me was
unattractive and stupid. Even if I would have been single, I would have
remained celibate, due to the lack of qualified candidates. It is amazing how
little percentage of men take care of their bodies, really. That was the first
time that I had that conscious and sad realization.
Finally the wave passed. Phew... I
was so relieved. I went back to normal, but it was an eye opening experience.
It left me wondering about many things. I got to see a part of me I did not
know.
Late 20s and the Single Life
I wrote about the beginning of my single life after my failed marriage in The World of Dating. I'll pick where I left of in Sex 101.
Since my first heat wave, many more followed. At first they were scattered along the year. As time went by and they appeared more often, I noticed they had a pattern: They would show up a few days before my period, during and a few days after. I had one that lasted over a month. That was pure and slow death! I was so irritable. I was sexually frustrated. I was a horny woman with no relief. Every man just pissed me off because they were all unfuckable losers. Seriously, how bad do men have to be that a lustful woman in a long drought finds no one to fuck? Exactly. I wanted to remain single but get sex consistently from one reliable source. The answer was evident: A fuck buddy.
The lesson in this part of the story is: Guys, get it together. There are plenty of women who just need sex, good sex, but you are missing out because you suck =/ You'd be surprised with the restraint some of us can have even in the driest of seasons.
Men's Sexuality
From what I hear, some of you have sex with the couch during those horny teenage years. While I now understand you, I can't imagine living with my libido fully on 24/7 for the rest of my life. You live with it
everyday since your teens. I at least get many days of peace in between. Science puts it plain and simple, men have a higher sex drive, think about sex everyday, several times a day... it's all a matter of hormones and the way our brain's "hard wiring" when it comes to sex. This also explains the natural selection used when choosing partners. This explains the interest guys have in looks (labeled as shallow) and women in men's financial stability (labeled as gold digging), but it's all semantics when the answer is simple, it's plain instinct for both genders.
We'll discuss that in the next post and also how my single life died and how it all happened.
Disclaimer
Every girl's story is different. Some experience their sexual awakening early, some later in life and others possibly never. Being sexually active doesn't mean you've experienced an awakening.
Leave your comments. Share your story, your perspective; whether you are male or female. I'd love to hear it :)
If anyone understands the importance of shoes in a woman’s
life, that’d be me. I can’t remember exactly when this “substance abuse”
started. I do remember years ago, when I’d have only 2 pairs if you can believe
it. Hard to believe huh? I’d one pair for work and one pair for going out. I’d
only buy another pair, when one of them had been worn out to the fullest. At
some point, I remember going “crazy” and owning my first pair of red stilettos in
addition to my original 2 pair of black high heels. I would usually
just go to the store and try them on, fantasize; mainly because I didn’t have
that kind of money. I would tend to lay
my eyes on the most expensive ones, go figure.
The Love Affair Begins
I can’t pin point the beginning of this intense
relationship. I do know however, that as soon as I became more financially
stable and began to see how many beautiful shoes there were out there, I
stopped fighting it and just gave in. At around 20 I had about 10 pairs, an outrageous
amount for me. As years have gone by, I have accumulated many more pairs.
I just moved from Tampa, FL to Clovis, NM – and that’s
another story! – And before moving, I got rid of a lot of my shoes. I haven’t counted
how many pairs I have left, but I’d say high 30s - I think!
My Style
I would describe my style as sexy, slightly daring with a
touch of elegance. It really varies depending on the occasion. I believe to be a lot more daring with my
makeup than anything else. A bit out of the ordinary with my shoes and
fluctuate with my clothes.
My Shoes
I have a bit of variety and try at all costs to stay away
from purchasing black shoes – or clothes for that matter. I have about 5 pairs
of black shoes, 2 classic cuts in patent leather (closed toe and peep toe) and
the rest are fun and different. A pair
in turquoise suede, booties, 3 pairs of red, white, cream, nude, leopard print,
gold, a variety of boots, etc.
There was this club I was a regular at in Tampa and the
ongoing thing was for several of the bouncers to ask me upon arrival “Let’s see which shoes you got on tonight”.
Yes, that was an excuse to strike conversation, but my shoes did stick out anywhere
I went. Compared to most women who don’t
stray away from normal black shoes; my shoes stood out, though they are not
crazy at all.
What I Look For in Shoes
Variety! Plain and simple. I look for some sort of design,
colour, shape, material, etc.
When I first started building up my collection, I was
looking for basics. Shoes that I could wear with almost anything: Nude, white,
red, black. Traditional shapes; all the while still including variety. Now that I have my bases covered, it’s time
for the real fun to begin. My principle is the same, but I now can really step
it up and get creative.
“The” Shoes
I debated for a while. I was back and forth. At first, I
decided they were too much, and I am not talking about the price, but the shoe
itself. I then decided they were ugly. I came around and couldn’t keep my eyes
away from them. I couldn’t stop thinking
about them. I googled them everyday for 7 days and stared at them. This past Wednesday
I clicked away and made them mine. They
arrive today and can hardly wait. I just
hope they fit. With this purchase, I can certainly say these would be my most
daring pair of shoes up to date.
Talents and the Learning Process A lot of people compliment my brains. Some are being honest about it, some are merely kissing butt. The ones who actually mean it believe I had a superb education. Let's explore that.
Every person has certain natural talents and inclinations that develop hand in hand with and depending on our surroundings and/or upbringing. Certain environments allow and feed the development of such talents or orientations; while certain environments deny these individuals from reaching their full potential, but that doesn't mean they won't show any signs of such talent one way or another. It only means they have to overcome these barriers, but they surely will break through.
You could put two people side to side and have a conversation with them. Leaving such meeting, you could think that one of them probably went to an expensive college and had a prime education, while the other probably never went to college. You could be surprised to find out that both graduated from the same class. I have met extraordinary people who didn't even finish elementary school and speak two or more languages and learned it in matter of months. But then again, I have met people who struggle horribly and do not posses basic knowledge of their own language, let alone speak a second one.
Such scenarios occur due to a natural disposition or "wiring" within each of us and interest/desire to learn and retain knowledge. Like one of my teachers used to say "Kids, study for life, not for the test". Make it a point to retain vital information that's useful in life.
Learning Photography Photography is no different than any other subject. Some people have a natural talent for it though they never took a single class on the subject. My best friend has such an eye for composition that is annoying, lol. I had to go to school to learn it, she just has "it". There are people who went to photography school with me and still don't get it and are unable to produce pleasing images. But, that doesn't mean you can't pick it up. If you are one of those people who wasn't born with an eye for it, do not worry. You can learn it, you just have to try a bit harder and really commit.
Photography and Rules The word rule in its proper and full extent means mandatory. Art on itself is supposed to be about freedom, creativity and self expression. Art knows no boundaries. These two words seem to contradict themselves. Have you also heard of the saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beauty is relative? I bet you have. All of these concepts seem to clash with one another. And though they do, truth is, you do need a rough guide when it comes to dealing with images. What I suggest is, do consider the rules, but do feel free to break them in the name of art. The key word I mentioned is GUIDANCE. They exist merely to provide a guide, to give you something to work with and go on from there.
Why Is Composition So Important? Because it will allow you to balance the way the components work with one another within frame, creating a comprehensive and easy flow to follow. This will translate to more appealing and interesting photos for your viewers.
If you put a bad photograph next to a good one and ask a
non artist to tell you which one they like most, they'll choose the
good one. Though they don't know why and they won't be able to explain
it, there are basic ways for you to capture such subjects, shapes and
colours that will be pleasing even to those who don't
understand composition.
The Rule of Thirds For that, I found this post. Click here to read it and understand such rule.
More guidelines for composition that you may like to know about. Click here.
For those of you who don't speak Spanish, just learn it and use it with Hispanic ladies. More likely you'll get a giggle and her number. FYI, you can click on the photo to make it bigger.
I used to be more on the sweet side when younger. Both my demeanor and style. But as my body developed and certain body parts looked voluminous on my small frame, things changed to say the least. I hadn’t changed, but the way people viewed me did. Even when I wore a little girl like dress, I looked “sexy”, just because my body filled it in a different way. There was absolutely nothing sexy about me. At least I wasn’t aware of it.
It has taken me years to actually become ‘it’, many to my own surprise. I discovered my body, my sex appeal and its needs. I am now completely aware of everything.
I did my first nude self portrait in 2009. It was a struggle. I debated whether to shoot it or not. It was a big step for me at the time. But not only I had nothing to fear, I discovered how free I felt. It's the most truthful thing one can do. There is absolutely nothing to hide. It represents being comfortable, relaxed, inner peace, joy, sensuality, confidence. I can't tie a bad thing to being naked. It could even be funny if you wanted it to be. It's your naked body, it can be whatever you want it to be.
Artists and Nude
Artists have left us amazing art work depicting gods and goddesses in paintings and sculptures. Modern art explores it in more ways and that now includes digital photography. Playing with light, colour and shadows in order to highlight its mystery, delight and beauty.
It is incredibly freeing to enjoy yourself in the nude. Embracing what you have been given in any shape or size. After all, being naked is in my eyes a state of mind. I can be naked while out on a date in a fancy restaurant. In my head I am unclothed and I feel at ease, sexy and relaxed. He can feel "it" on my arrogant confidence, but he doesn't know what it is. I am naked in my head baby, that's all it is ;)
I am currently working on the creation of a collection of nudes reflecting the sensuality, the freedom, the music, the arts… if you are interested on being a subject, let me know.
♫
Dance with me across the ocean floor
Sail away to heaven's open door
Step right up you're the next contestant
In this sweet charade
Take a number, wait while I twist your fate
On the mating game
Mating game
Hold me close enough to drink my rose
The devil in my pocket turned to gold
Sorry to warn you, you're in a daze
Tonight I'll love you, but tomorrow go away
Step right up who's the next contestant
In this sweet charade?
Take a number, wait while I tease you sane
On the mating game
Mating game♫
DATING SCHOOL
This is quite an interesting subject and what better song to open the note with than Bittersweet's "The Mating Game". As my few readers and friends know, I am in "dating school" right now. Crash course. I have learned so much and continue perfecting "my game" as I go. Some of you may say "Be honest, don't play games". To those of you I say: It doesn't work. I've tried it. But don't feel bad. Everything in life is like a game of poker. You don't know what hand you are going to be dealt. But you can make the most of it and sometimes you need to bluff. Trust me on this one :)
I know I haven't updated you on my whereabouts in a while. Let's just say my social life is soaring and work is great. I haven't had the chance to do much outside of that.
THE GAME
I have discovered there is a lack of such thing from men in Tampa. At least I am hoping it is symptomatic of the city and not a worldwide spread disease. I may not know much about dating per se, but I can tell Prada from Prado. I know a fake when I see it, I can tell quality from garbage. It doesn't hurt my gang helps me through it all. Their input is of great value when in doubt.
MEN IN TAMPA
They stare and stare. They try to not get caught staring, but they obviously do not succeed. The ones who dare to come over and talk to me, just say the same old lame lines: "Do you come here a lot? Are you a model? I am not trying to hit on you, but... (compliment follows), Your boyfriend doesn't mind that you are out by yourself? (or some boyfriend related question), I know you from somewhere (really? Your dreams maybe?)".
HOW TO MEET GIRLS THE RIGHT WAY
Men, pay attention to my following statements. I know, it is hard to concentrate and read on, but you'll have a better chance at scoring if you keep on reading.
DO NOT get intimidated. What's the worse that can happen? "No, I am not interested"? No one dies from that. You never know. You may hit it off, but you'll never know, because you never tried. Even if there is a group of girls and you see one you like out of the bunch. Or in occasion I've been the third wheel. Observe and pay attention to which one is with the guy and which one isn't. If the third wheel caught your eye, go for it.
DO NOT use a line. Women hate lines. At the very least, avoid using one of those cheesy lines we all know. I have NEVER heard a woman say "I loved his pickup line". We all make fun of you when we get together and compare ridiculousness. Be natural. Be yourself (unless yourself is a douche. In which case, take a hike). Walk up to the girl, introduce yourself, ask for her name (and remember it). If you are too nervous about messing it up, you could break the ice by making a comment about the place you guys are at. If it's a restaurant that specializes in sushi you could say something like "Are you a fan of sushi?". She will reply saying "I love it", then you can ask which one is her favourite roll. Ask what other kinds of foods she likes. If she says no. You could ask what she prefers from that restaurant. She says nothing. Ask what her fave restaurants are. If she says she has never eaten there. You can proceed to make suggestions of what's awesome in their menu. Either way, you have material to go with and this info will be useful if you get her number. Because at that point, you'll know where to take her for dinner if you do get a date. So, please, try to retain what she responds. See? Not that hard to not sound like an STD (South Tampa Douche as Kimberly calls them).
DO NOT ask for my number right off the bat. You just gave me your name and you expect me to hand you my number just like that? Unless your name is Brad Pitt, I don't see why I'd give you my number without knowing if I even like you first. I have yet to make a full assessment. At the exchanging names portion of the program, I only know if you're cute and if you have style. Which by the way, the lack of those alone can get you dismissed. If you pass that part, I will talk to you. Always offer a drink. That shows that you are attentive. Especially if we are going to be talking for a while. If I say no. Let a reasonable time into conversation go by before offering again.
DO NOT get hammered. We met out, so I understand you've been drinking. But at this point slow down. I don't appreciate a belligerent drunk. If you keep drinking like there is no tomorrow, I will walk away. The next statement should be obvious, but, DO NOT get drunk when out on a date. Get buzzed, sure. Not drunk. And being hammered is definitely out of the question.
YOUR BOYFRIEND comments are for pussies. I am sorry but if you want to know if I am single, ask straight up. I like a bold, assertive man, not a hesitant one. Do not disguise your question. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if I am available. When men ask a boyfriend related question, I give an ambiguous answer, I lead on that I have a man or I call you out for asking me that way. In any of those scenarios, you lost me. You are not getting my number.
COMPLIMENTS are like plastic surgery. A bit here and there is great. Unfortunately, there is such thing as too much of it. If you over shower her with compliments, then you are trying too hard and that's called kissing ass. It may work with some, it doesn't work with me. I am not saying I don't enjoy flattery, of course I do. I am a girl, I like to be reminded that I am sexy, cute, great eyes, whatever. But DON'T OVER DO IT. Flattery is like music. There is a rhythm to follow, there are pauses, there are perfect moments for everything. Right off the bat, you can compliment her style or a certain part of her outfit only if YOU TRULY think is good. But of course, if you are being honest and you really like her eyes, you can say it. When you over do it, it is nothing but falseness. That's what I mind.
LET'S SAY that at this point we've spent all evening talking, laughing, getting to know each other. This means I enjoyed your company. Otherwise I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago. There are people whose company I enjoyed, but did not see them as possible prospects, so I say goodbye at one point of the evening. Let's say the place is closing now. Offer to walk me to my car. If I say ok. My friend, you are getting my number. When we get to my car, that's the moment to ask for my number. This is what you say (and mean it) "I enjoyed your company tonight. I'd like see you again and take you out on a date. What's your number?" You are being assertive, confident and establishing you want me. I like that.
DO FOLLOW UP asap. Do not waste time. You want to gain territory. Good ground where to stand and score points left and right. As soon as you get home (or before even), send a polite text. Saying something like you had a good time and how you're looking forward to that date. That's a cliche that does work. If you are into the girl and genuinely had a good time and clicked, the texts should get rolling effortlessly from both ends. As this goes on, you both will get to know each other more.
GET TO BUSINESS. Text her as soon as you're awake. That shows you really like her. That should move you up on her list if she likes you. Start thinking about the info you gathered about her likes. I love it when he plans the whole date and surprises me. It shows many good qualities. For starters, you cared to gather the info. You listened and retained it. You know the moves, because now you are going to plan a bulletproof date. How do you know? Well, you got all the info right from the source. I can assure you she'll be impressed and in your pocket. The night prior, you gathered if she's low or high key. You gathered what kind of food and restaurants she prefers. Which ones she has visited, which ones she's dying to try. You found out what she does for fun, for work, etc. She'll tell you if she's into art, sports, movies, etc. All of that can be used in your favour.
SEAL THE DEAL that very next day and get that date. This is how an alpha male would do it "Can I pick you up (day) at (time)?" You are choosing the day and time, but being considered by still asking if she's ok with your suggestion. Some restaurants require you to make reservations. Some need 24, 48 or even 72 hours in advance. If you're considering one of these places, keep that in mind. If she says that the day you suggested works, go ahead and make the reservations and then tell her "Ok, I've already made reservations". Explain that they needed an X amount of hours in advance. That way she'll know why you're not trying to see her sooner. Don't tell her where you are taking her (unless she hates surprises, which you should know by now), but do help by saying something like "Dress up" or "Dress casual". That way she'll know what to wear.
POINT SCORING SUGGESTION Let's say the reservations are 3 days from now, but you'd like to see/impress her sooner. Plan a low key outing. You should have gathered a lot of useful information when you met her. Let's say you didn't. You can still do it. For the artsy girl you could plan a visit to the Dali museum (or any other museum) a gallery or multiple galleries. For the sporty girl, you could take her to a baseball game, play tennis, indoor rock climbing, etc. You could go to the movies. All of those laid back dates score points (if you have already established that you'll take her out on a real date. Otherwise you'll appear to be cheap and no one likes that) for many reasons. You're taking her to do something she enjoys. You are showing your interest by taking her out before the big date. There are tons of fun low key things to do that score points with girls.
IF YOU DON'T NEED RESERVATIONS the sooner the better. Set that date. If not, you'll lose your momentum and she'll get bored and move on.
SOMETHING TO KNOW ABOUT ALPHA FEMALES is that they attract a lot of men and you are sure to have competition. If you don't like competition, then don't seek alpha females. There are plenty of beta females out there. With an alpha you are sure to be in for a treat. Once you win her over, you'll have all of her, no withholding and it'll be totally worth it. They can hand you crumbs if they are not into you and you will never know what's like to enjoy the whole jar of honey. So, don't play hard to get, because you are the one who has to get her. I repeat, there are a lot of men after her. If you don't play your cards right, you'll lose your chance and that's why you've got to show her you want her and that you're interested in a SMART WAY. She knows what she wants. Do not blow your chance.
Good luck!
